From 365 Days of Understanding Your Grief, by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.
As I’ve been grieving, I’ve noticed that I sometimes apologize for being open and honest about my grief. “Sorry I’m such a mess,” I might say after a crying jag in front of a friend. Or, “I’m sorry I need so much help.” But I shouldn’t feel sorry about my normal and necessary grief.
So now I’m switching out sorries for thank-yous:
- “Thank you for listening to me.”
- “Thank you for helping me.”
- “Thank you for being there for me.”
Thank-yous honor my need to mourn and be supported in my grief. They also extend gratitude to my helpers. So much better! I don’t have to apologize for being genuine.