Grieving is learning as our brains adjust to profound change. “Thinking of grieving as a form of learning makes [grief] a little more familiar and helps us to understand,” said psychologist Mary-Frances O’Connor
Being Honest about your Grief
Replacing "I'm sorry" statements with "thank you."
Honoring our loved one’s qualities
There are many ways we move forward after losing someone we love to suicide. One way survivors have found they could move forward while remaining connected to their loved ones is to remember their loved one's character strengths and to emulate them.
“Pain is Inevitable – Suffering is Optional.”
Pain and suffering are not the same things. This graphic shows how emotional pain (not physical pain) is a natural response to an emotionally disturbing event. Suffering is our response to the event with negative self-talk and actions intended to avoid or numb the pain we feel. We can keep filling that suffering portion of the graphic up with unhealthy coping mechanisms and negative self-talk, but none of them ever address the actual feelings that have caused our pain. In fact, negative self-talk may be another way we avoid feeling the actual pain.
How to Deal with Regret
We all have hopes and dreams of what we have wanted to accomplish in life, yet most of the time your life is not quite the picture you painted for yourself. Missing out on life and opportunities can create personal discontent, depression and often isolation. The list of things you haven't done can be compelling and overwhelm you.
Then you might realize something: You are not that person anymore, and in another second, you will again be someone new. Letting go of the weight of past regrets gives you a better chance of becoming who you want to be today.
Acceptance Vs Acknowledgement
Unless you have experienced death, sudden death or some type of traumatic loss, divorce etc, all of the ways we experience grief will be as different as our fingerprints for everyone. We usually can be real safe by giving hugs, saying, "there are no words, I am just really sorry to hear this" and then just ask for their guidance to help them through it.