Grieving is learning as our brains adjust to profound change. “Thinking of grieving as a form of learning makes [grief] a little more familiar and helps us to understand,” said psychologist Mary-Frances O’Connor
Category: Suicide Loss Survivors
While grieving — and at all other times — it is important to be aware of, protect, and set clear boundaries with others. If you are like many of us, you may have some difficulty saying no to people. If saying NO to others is difficult for you, below are some other ways that you can say NO that may work for you.
Honoring our loved one’s qualities
There are many ways we move forward after losing someone we love to suicide. One way survivors have found they could move forward while remaining connected to their loved ones is to remember their loved one's character strengths and to emulate them.
“Pain is Inevitable – Suffering is Optional.”
Pain and suffering are not the same things. This graphic shows how emotional pain (not physical pain) is a natural response to an emotionally disturbing event. Suffering is our response to the event with negative self-talk and actions intended to avoid or numb the pain we feel. We can keep filling that suffering portion of the graphic up with unhealthy coping mechanisms and negative self-talk, but none of them ever address the actual feelings that have caused our pain. In fact, negative self-talk may be another way we avoid feeling the actual pain.
2 New Emotional Support Lines
Two new services recently became available for persons struggling with mental health issues and in need of emotional support. New 988 suicide and crisis lifeline and the Florida Warm Line.
Ashley Judd on Mental Illness, Her Mother’s Death & The Importance of Grief Support
Nobody’s grief process looks exactly the same. It’s personal, specific, and often, private — which is why today’s tender conversation is such a privilege. David speaks with actress and activist Ashley Judd on the recent death of her mother, as well as her experiences of sexual assault and abuse.
Guilt vs Regret
Guilt is a common and often overpowering feeling for survivors. There is a difference between guilt and regret Our friend Patricia often shares her insightful distinction between the word "guilt" survivors mistakenly place on themselves and "regret" which more accurately expresses what they are feeling. Here is an article on that important distinction for survivors.
A Handbook for Survivors of Suicide Loss
When members join our group one of the first steps we take to support them is to send them this small purple pamphlet. Many are amazed to find great comfort and wisdom in this small booklet. A downloadable pdf of this booklet is available on our website.
Grief is like carrying a rock in your pocket
The best way I can describe grieving over a child as the years go by is to say it’s similar to carrying a stone in your pocket.
Healing through Service
Our group member Ted Robbins lost his sixteen-year-old son Christian to suicide this past April. Ted shares that as part of his family's healing they have decided to try and save other kids from losing their life by way of suicide and mental illness.