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The 4 Tasks of Grief Post
Grief and Loss, Mental Health, Suicide Loss Survivors

The 4 Tasks of Grief

We often hear the phrase we must do the work to move forward in our grief journey. But what exactly is the work? While everyone grieves in their own unique way, Psychologist J. William Worden provides a framework of four tasks that help us understand how people move through grief in a healthy way.

Grief and Loss, Suicide Loss Survivors

Suicide – When Someone is Too Bruised to be Touched

Suicide is an illness, not a sin. Nobody just calmly decides to end their life by suicide and burden his or her loved ones with that death any more than anyone calmly decides to die of cancer and cause pain. The victim of suicide (in all but rare cases) is a trapped person, caught up in a fiery, private chaos that has its roots both in his or her emotions and in his or her bio-chemistry. Suicide is a desperate attempt to end unendurable pain, akin to one throwing oneself through a window because one’s clothing is on fire.

Grief and Loss, Mental Health, Preventing Suicide, Suicide Loss Survivors

How to Fight Suicide

You’ve probably seen the recent statistics about the suicide epidemic — that suicide rates over all have risen by over 30 percent this century; that teenage suicides are rising at roughly twice that rate; that every year 45,000 Americans kill themselves. And yet we don’t talk about it much. It’s uncomfortable. Some people believe the falsehood that if we talk about suicide, it will plant the idea in the minds of vulnerable people. Many of us don’t know what to say or do. A person may be at risk of dying by suicide when he or she expresses hopelessness or self-loathing, when he or she starts joking about “after I’m gone,” starts giving away prized possessions, seems preoccupied with death, suddenly withdraws or suddenly appears calm after a period of depression, as if some decision has been made.

Grief and Loss, Mental Health, Supporting a Suicide Loss Survivor

Annual NAMI walk in Naples helps focus discussion on mental health

Bob Riley stressed the importance of using the term "died by suicide" rather than "committed suicide" when referring to suicide victims. "We die of many different things," he said. "We can die of a heart attack but we can also die by suicide. That alone can help a person cope."

Grief and Loss, Special Occasions, Supporting a Suicide Loss Survivor

Special Occasions

Birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, Mother's Day, Father's Day and other religious celebrations and special occasions can all be particularly difficult times after a loved one has died by suicide. There are some steps you can take to help yourself through this time.

Grief Statue SAS
Grief and Loss, Supporting a Suicide Loss Survivor

How to help a survivor when you hear of the death

Many people feel awkward and nervous when first spending time with a suicide bereaved person. It will take some time to learn how to respond. It is okay to feel awkward but you don't need to let it prevent you showing support.

Grief and Loss

Acceptance Vs Acknowledgement

Unless you have experienced death, sudden death or some type of traumatic loss, divorce etc, all of the ways we experience grief will be as different as our fingerprints for everyone. We usually can be real safe by giving hugs, saying, "there are no words, I am just really sorry to hear this" and then just ask for their guidance to help them through it.