When you lose a loved one to suicide, you can feel completely lost in your pain and grief. You may feel you are completely alone with no roadmap to guide you out of your pain. If you remain open, the guide will appear and the words you need to get you through that next moment, that next day show up when you need them most.
We have all heard the instructions of an airline attendant reminding us to put on our own oxygen mask before we help anyone else with theirs. The advice is often cited as a metaphor for self-care because it so accurately expresses why it is important. It seems to say, ironically, that if you can’t take… Continue reading Self-Care Makes us Stronger
Guilt is the one negative emotion that seems to be universal to all survivors of suicide, and overcoming it is perhaps our greatest obstacle on the path to healing. Guilt is your worst enemy because it is a false accusation. You are not responsible for your loved one’s suicide in any way, shape, or form.… Continue reading Survivor’s Guilt
The Gift of Someone Who Listens By Nancy Myerholts: From Compassionate Friends, Cape Cod
Suicide is an illness, not a sin. Nobody just calmly decides to end their life by suicide and burden his or her loved ones with that death any more than anyone calmly decides to die of cancer and cause pain. The victim of suicide (in all but rare cases) is a trapped person, caught up in a fiery, private chaos that has its roots both in his or her emotions and in his or her bio-chemistry. Suicide is a desperate attempt to end unendurable pain, akin to one throwing oneself through a window because one’s clothing is on fire.
Birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, Mother's Day, Father's Day and other religious celebrations and special occasions can all be particularly difficult times after a loved one has died by suicide. There are some steps you can take to help yourself through this time.
Grief due to death by suicide is vastly different than grief due to death by cancer.