Guilt is a common and often overpowering feeling for survivors. There is a difference between guilt and regret Our friend Patricia often shares her insightful distinction between the word "guilt" survivors mistakenly place on themselves and "regret" which more accurately expresses what they are feeling. Here is an article on that important distinction for survivors.
How to Eliminate Guilt
Are you feeling guilty about something? Maybe you’re feeling guilty because you failed to live up to your personal expectations. Maybe it’s because you failed to live up to other people’s expectations of you. Maybe you did something hurtful to someone else, or maybe you embarrassed someone or wronged others in some way. Or maybe it’s all about you. You are feeling guilty because you didn’t keep a promise you made to yourself.
No matter how you look at it, guilt is never a pleasant emotion and often has some dire consequences. However, it is an emotion you can work through successfully and even progressively eradicate from your life over time.
The connection remains once the pain subsides
It will always be painful, you will always miss and love the person you lost. But the intensity of the pain and the overwhelming preoccupation changes. And that isn't really your choice. It's a natural organic process that you're not in charge of. The only thing you can do is find ways of supporting yourself to navigate that process as it comes through your system. It’s important to allow that to happen.
If we don't forgive ourselves for our mistakes, and others for the wounds they have inflicted upon us, we end up crippled with guilt.