Pain and suffering are not the same things. This graphic shows how emotional pain (not physical pain) is a natural response to an emotionally disturbing event. Suffering is our response to the event with negative self-talk and actions intended to avoid or numb the pain we feel. We can keep filling that suffering portion of the graphic up with unhealthy coping mechanisms and negative self-talk, but none of them ever address the actual feelings that have caused our pain. In fact, negative self-talk may be another way we avoid feeling the actual pain.
Tag: grief support for suicide survivors
Guilt vs Regret
Guilt is a common and often overpowering feeling for survivors. There is a difference between guilt and regret Our friend Patricia often shares her insightful distinction between the word "guilt" survivors mistakenly place on themselves and "regret" which more accurately expresses what they are feeling. Here is an article on that important distinction for survivors.
The Grief Process: How do we Know if we are Progressing?
During our group meetings, members often express that they can't tell if they are progressing in their grief process or just going in circles. While progress in anything in life… Continue reading The Grief Process: How do we Know if we are Progressing?
Book by our Group Member Erin Blechman
My Unexpected Journey: Reflections after Losing My Son to Suicide, Written by fellow survivor and our group member Erin Blechman, My Unexpected Journey is a collection of reflections written following the death of the author's son, Max, to suicide in June 2020.
H is for Honoring
H IS FOR HONORING by Therese Gump To be able to honor a person’s memory is a great consolation when they are no longer around. How do we come to… Continue reading H is for Honoring
How to Eliminate Guilt
Are you feeling guilty about something? Maybe you’re feeling guilty because you failed to live up to your personal expectations. Maybe it’s because you failed to live up to other people’s expectations of you. Maybe you did something hurtful to someone else, or maybe you embarrassed someone or wronged others in some way. Or maybe it’s all about you. You are feeling guilty because you didn’t keep a promise you made to yourself.
No matter how you look at it, guilt is never a pleasant emotion and often has some dire consequences. However, it is an emotion you can work through successfully and even progressively eradicate from your life over time.
Appropriate Expectations You Can Have for Yourself in Grief
The following is a list of appropriate expectations that you can have in grief. Evaluate yourself on each one and see if you are maintaining realistic expectations for yourself. You… Continue reading Appropriate Expectations You Can Have for Yourself in Grief
All Grief is Experienced at 100%
Excerpt from Grief Recovery We frequently cite the ancient proverb, “I was unhappy about having no shoes until I met the man who had no feet,” to introduce the dangerous… Continue reading All Grief is Experienced at 100%
Words that guide you forward…
When you lose a loved one to suicide, you can feel completely lost in your pain and grief. You may feel you are completely alone with no roadmap to guide you out of your pain. If you remain open, the guide will appear and the words you need to get you through that next moment, that next day show up when you need them most.
Where are they?
When we lose a loved one to suicide, one of the many questions we grapple with is where are they? Some survivors have found comfort and understanding through listening to stories from people who died and had a near-death experience (NDE) before they were revived. Their experiences share hope and understanding that our loved ones and the love we shared here on earth continues.