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Phyllis – Lost Spouse to Suicide

A suicide specific support group helps you cope with such unanswered questions like, ‘What did I do wrong? Did I cause this? What didn’t I do to save my loved one? Why didn’t he love me enough to talk to me or someone else’. The answer to these questions died with our loved one and we did not have 3 months to say goodbye or I love you.
Our group surrounds you with love, compassion, understanding, because they had experienced anguish and the self punishment of guilt. My life of five decades died with his suicide. Every Wednesday night I felt secure in sharing emotions that were wildly churning in this new life which I did not like or want. I couldn’t deal with everyday problems. The group became my lifeboat. They reached out and pulled me on board the lifeboat of living.
Their care, advice and love calmed my emotions for a few hours each week and also through phone calls during the worst times. Through the group I learned how to construct a new me and a new life. I learned the tools for living and, yes, enjoying my new life.